Help with editing?
im 14 and just had a very basic task to write a brief descriptive paragraph written description 3. am a bit stuck on how it should end, and also do u have any ideas for mounting? The moment I stepped off the plane I was overwhelmed by the friendly air humid, and beautiful tropical flowers. As we drove to our vacation home that was barely noticed huge stations and countless tourists. I realized I did not challenge in Alaska, but a much more exciting. I spent most of my time on the beach trying to absorb sunlight, I had not done much of life in Alaska. At rest on the beach toes in the sand, I liked the way the content, warm, and my mind felt free. The sky was clear, the majority, except when the island decided to surprise us with Mystic a heavy rain. A few minutes later a downpour all become lush and green again, and a rainbow appears in the dynamic every valley.
This is a very good test for a young man of 14 years. Here I have an update for you that has been published. I very little change in the context of the story … primarily grammatical. The moment I stepped off the plane, I felt dizzy, thankfully, overwhelmed by the moist air and the beautiful tropical flowers. As we leave our house, I just realized the offshore stations and faceless tourists. I started to realize that it was not in Alaska, but a much more dynamic. I spent the whole time intelligence on the beach by a rain of sunlight. To me, he had not done much of this life, while in Alaska. While relaxing on the beach with my toes covered in sand, I liked the way the content, hot and my mind felt free. The blue sky was cloudless, except when the Mystic Island decided to surprise me with a heavy rain. Within minutes, everything would become succulent and green. As that magic, this dynamic seems arches in each valley. I finally found my little corner of paradise. I put this last sentence in his essay to its limit, second paragraph. I think that the test defines the good humor. You give the reader a sense of joy and pleasure b / c that is what evokes the scene and mood. One thing that really could have an impact on the unit if you use your last paragraph to set the mood at all. So far, everything was nice and bubbly and cheerful and pleasant (Like a fantasy world). With his last paragraph, should lead the reader to reality. For example, when you're lying content and happiness, suddenly-boink-a beach ball sits in the head. You look up and see her annoying little brother with a mischievous smile on his face. And you realize that this vacation will not be very different of the other holidays that you have taken b / c, as always your brother spoiled mood. (Or it could be your sister, cousin, whatever). I think you know I come from. And keep writing. It was very good.
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